Yesterday. Day One of 6 LONG MONTHS of not texting, facebooking, e-mailing, calling, writing, or drunk dialing. I feel like I should be sitting next to my friend Kent who's trying to quit smoking. He has his gum, toothpicks, will power...and a piss poor attitude because he's doing something totally against his nature. Not to narc him out, he stole a few of Natasha's Cigarettes. "I'm quitting, not abstaining," he says. Touche my friend. Touche.
So Day One can either be the best day because you're still on high on your new "plans of improvement" or it's the worst day because withdraws and second guesses start to set in.
My first day I was feeling empowered. I had a plan and guidelines. I had already analyzed my difficulties and moved on. This was a competition against myself and I was going to win! Then of course he texts me. Um dude what part of you "need your space" do you not understand? You can't even do that right? I'm preparing myself for 6 months of non communication and you're texting me within 24 hours. You suck at this game.
I'm sure you're dying to know what Jordan wrote...it was all blah blah blah I love you don't think I don't blah blah blah thank you for giving me time. You're such a control freak you even tell me when I need to take time for myself. Blah blah blah. Seriously this man went on for at least 12 full long texts about his undying love for me. Now don't get me wrong I loved every minute of it. I want to be with this man. But I'm in a competition with my will power. I'm in heavy training and conditioning mode right now. I can't be distracted by I love you text messages. It's like you just took me to a sports bar while I'm on a diet. Sure they probably have a side salad of some sorts but hell if I'm not going to get wings and a pitcher of beer.
So now I'm on Day One AGAIN. Oh what's that? Did I text back? Oh that's funny, I thought I told you if I texted back or not. Yeah I'm weak. I texted back. We agreed that if he wanted to talk I could feel free to respond to him if I wished. I texted back acknowledging that, yes, I indeed am amazing. Yes, I do love him and yes I do understand that he loves me. (The bitch is gonna hate me in a month when I'm still not talking to him....hee hee. It's all part of my master plan.) We left it at that, a stronger understanding of the fact that we are two people in love with each other. One who needs to get his shit together and one who left Chicago to get hers together.
So what have I been doing. Oh just the usual, checking my phone for messages and missed calls. Looking at my facebook wall. Looking at his facebook wall. Looking at my phone again. Is it on silent? No. Ok good. Just in case. I guess round two of Day One didn't go as well as round one of Day One.
If I were in a video game I would need a mushroom for an extra life or a potion for more strength. I would like to spit fireballs too but that's just because it would be AWESOME. Seriously, think about it, FIREBALLS. What? You just cut me off in traffic, fireball at your Dodge Stratus. That will make you think twice about being a docuhe and cutting random strangers off in traffic.
Besides beating Koopa Troopas and saving the Princess I need to do oh so exciting post graduate level busy work. I also have a small colony of beer bottle that need to be removed from my home. Thank you Jordan for leaving me with tangible memories of our weekend together. After that I need to indulge in my Sookie Stackhouse novel and mentally prepare myself for work tomorrow.