Friday, March 5, 2010
There are going to be pictures without you. There are never pictures without you. There are pictures without me but there are never pictures without you. They wanted you so badly. She tried over and over to get you. I prayed for you as if I was asking God for a pony. And him, he changed. You changed him. He's never been the same since you got here. You broke down walls that had been build up around him. You didn't even know what you were doing. You were the first. You were in all the pictures. I didn't even know someone could be in so many pictures until you got here. You were tiny. I kissed you with my eyes closed. We were so close that my eyelashes almost touched your cheek. You were different, so much smarter then all the other ones. You didn't even talk you just pointed and everyone knew what you wanted. You were so quite for so long. You were like a new toy for us. You were passed around like bread at Thanksgiving. Everyone admiring your beauty. Your long dark hair. Your deep brown eyes. Your smile. Yes you smiled at everything. You smiled in pictures. Then there were two. And from then on you were never in a photo alone. She was always there. It's like you were a twin pack despite the two year age difference. You were inseparable. Despite the fact that you both had your own rooms you lovingly slept side by side. I have pictures. And now my mind races through memories. It's searching for something that I missed. How did it get this far? How did it get this bad? We are going to be together, but we are going to be without you. You always wonder what would be worse, to have something that is damaged or to not have it at all. I guess that would be a spin on "is it better to love and have lost or to have never loved at all". But I wasn't given that decision to make. You did. Now there are going to be pictures without you.